Tuesday, May 8, 2018

A Tale of two Koreas

News were reeling about what private conversation went on between North Korea's president Kim Jong Un and South Korea's president Moon Jae In during their meeting in late April.
Official lip reading experts have provided snippets of a leaked transcript of what was discussed. This following sample was the most revealing part of the summit:

-Kim Jong Un: So you finally submit to me, your Supreme Leader in a unified Korea?
-Moon Jae In: Get real. I'm not submitting to you or anyone. We have to get this orange madman off our backs, before we get incinerated. Everyone knows your nuclear facilities got compromised, and damaged.
-Kim: I can destroy America with the strength of my empire, North Korea's great military power.
-Moon: Wake up, numbnuts. You aren't gonna destroy much except my people and your people. China already told you that.
-Kim: But, who else can stop that orange old fool, then? He disrespected our great land's pride when he called me Rocket man and said he had a bigger nuke button than me.
-Moon: You stop running your mouth against America, OK? If a nuclear war breaks out, Americans will not be hurt at all, but millions of us will die in our Korean peninsula.
-Kim: Come on, man. I won't attack South Korea. You are my brothers and sisters. I'll only hit his military bases on your side.
-Moon: You're kidding me? That selfish orange nut doesn't give a shit about a few U.S. soldiers stationed here. You two are the same selfish egocentric fools, but he has far more power, and you know it.
-Kim: All right, North Korea and South Korea can make peace, but who can appease that orange idiot after that?
-Moon: I'll suggest his bully ass should get the Nobel peace prize this year. That should subdue his insecure ego and cap him from attacking your land.

-Kim: Ok, maybe I'll release a couple of our American prisoners to try to look cool with him and his cronies when we meet in May.
-Moon: Good call, young Kim. You're learning to be wiser. Give President Xi JinPing a call. He's going to be the real deal now.
-Kim: Is the Soju finished? Refill, please!
-Moon: More kimchi?

NOTE: This is satirical take on the current U.S.A. - Koreas relations. Any similarity with reality is a coincidence, but can be considered a possibility.